Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
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My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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