I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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