How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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