Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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