Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
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at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
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I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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