you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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