I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize