Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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