You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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