I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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