my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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