my phone needs a breathalizer
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
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noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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