Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
stop calling my apartment porn island.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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