FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize