Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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