i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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