I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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