Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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