im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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