Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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