Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
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I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
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she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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