Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
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Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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