Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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