and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize