I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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