ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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