Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
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Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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