this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize