anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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