I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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