I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
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We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
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It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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