Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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