No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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