i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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