this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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