so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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