Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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