I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
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Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
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We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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