You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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