Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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