just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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