Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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