Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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