Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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