But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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