This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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