yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
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