If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We had sex on a dog bed..
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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