Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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