She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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